There is always a special feeling inside me, when I am going somewhere. Days before, inside me, reflections start happening. Did I do enough? Are things how I want them to be? How is my life? How ARE things? I start looking at my sorroundings with a special gaze, a deeper look, and I take them in, deeper. I become more observant. What is really happening before my eyes? How does my body feel?
Tomorrow morning I am heading off to Denmark to spend my christmas time there. With my family. With friends. With strangers :-)
There is more melancholia connected with my going away this time.
Perhaps it's because it is the end of the year soon, too. The end of a full sun year where I did my best. I tried as much as I could to stay focused. To stay connected. At times, I didn't succeed. When I did, I really changed something, mountains moved, inner core strengthened. And this is how I move forward. Stronger.

I say the christmas market coming up have been much of a challenge. I have never done it before. And I really look forward, I think it's going to be heaps fun :) Yesterday I freaked out. Fear, you know. All the Unknown out there. Shit. The ambitions and expectations. I was filled with fear. Fear of not doing well enough, of failing, of course. But then I remember it's my little system inside, going on full alert!, because I have never done this before. And for the first time in my life (this is probably not true!), I don't know WHERE the story ends. I don't know if I succeed. I don't know if I fail. I just don't know. And so all I can do is try. And so, I am. Giving it a go. Rocking that christmas market ;-)
(It's 7-8th dec by the way, you can read about it here).

Yesterday we went on a beautiful trip. Actually we got up quite late, and didn't leave the house until 2 or 3. But it was sooo nice getting out.
The wind was really fierce, like Denmark. And then we went to a little piece of land, between a lot of water. Where they grow the oysters, and the sea. And it was stormy. Like Denmark. And the colors were like Denmark. And apart from the beautiful snow-covered mountains in the background, I actually felt, I was in Denmark.

Recently I've been working with a group of shamanic artists, spread across Europe. This work have made me think about a lot of things, and has opened up new doorways for me. I feel very inspired by these people and their stories, and I feel very moved by our dream to create shamanic art. (This website will be released soon, but for now, I'd like to keep it close to my heart).
One of the things that has come to my awareness, and that I have come to think about, is how we are all wounded in our creativity. These use of words, were first presented to me by Nicholas Breeze Wood, the editor and founder of Sacred Hoop (shamanic) magazine. How we are wounded in our creativity.

I don't mean to offend anyone here, but it seems like there is a great gap in us westerners, between our creativity and our inner core. Why is creativity so often referred to as "Oh, I couldn't do that" and "oh, no that's not for me". And even those of us who live off and with our creativity everyday, seem to have a whole wall of criticism and judgement looking us in the eye, when we start a new project. One, almost have to be really strong and focused to go beyond this tremendous power of negativity.
It's not easy to 'just' be creating.
Yet, we do it everyday. Create our lives! Why is creativity so difficult, when it's one of the most natural things on our planet? Evolution. You don't hear (healthy) children go around saying "Oh, no it probably won't work to build a car out of a shoe-box, and what am I to do with it afterwards? What can I really use this for?". Which is a relief.
Yes, we question. We judge. Before something is even born. Before we've even started, the mission is almost bound to fail. The way I see it: Because we haven't learned, and we don't have a strong, positive relationship with our own creativity.
When some one is creative they are either 'up there' like "she's so good, and I could never do that", or it's 'down there', as in "Oh, this is just something I do in my spare time, it's not really something, I'm just playing". Why can't it be equal to everything else that we do in life? Why does it have to be 'good' or 'bad'? What is not accepted here? If I have a strong creativity, I am 'better' than you? Or I am just playing? Are these really the only two categories we can find!? This is truly sad.

How can creativity (which, to some extend goes hand in hand with spirituality) become a natural, healthy and positive part of our society? By acknowledging it's presence. By understanding it, and accepting it into our lives. Accept that we all are creative. And that creativity means the possibility for new things, the creation of something un-known. The presence of a stranger, who can become your solution out if a problem.
Creativity is not trying to hurt anyone. It is trying to give us a voice to speak with, when we've run out of words. It is trying to teach us to let go, and be a PART of life, instead of judging it.

So next time you're about to do something a bit un-rational, and find yourself called to your son's colorful markers, or you have a new idea you want to present to the office, - encourage it! Act as if it was life itself knocking on your door, inviting you to play!
Far too much 'rationality' is going on in our community. Wouldn't it be great if, just for one day, we could let all that go, and just say "Yes!"? Yes to community. Yes to creativity. Yes to possibilities. Yes to life.

Yours sincerely,
Lone

      This morning.